Looking back upon the years gone by and thinking about all the silly New Year’s resolutions I made, in the hope that I would magically improve, I can’t but help feeling disappointed.
Did I ever achieve any of them? Do I even remember what they were? Chances are like most, I started with the fervor of a dervish and soon fell back into the self discipline of a junkie.
In spite of all of the good intentions putting in the effort to achieve these lofty goals was well… too much effort. Sticking with it became too hard and life quickly got in the way.
As the old adage goes “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”, so intentions alone are really worth nothing. Unless those intentions evolve into plans, systems and daily habits, they are really good for nothing.
A classic example: losing weight and improvement fitness
This year I am going to lose weight and get fitter. I’ll drop 20kg and get ripped by February. Really? Dream on loser. Needless to say this resolution never materialised because it was nothing more than a daydream. I had no real plan, I had no system to keep me on track and I certainly had no habits that were any good. I relied on the very little motivation I had, which faded very quickly as the year started getting serious.
Instead of waiting for the new year and creating out of touch health and fitness goals like I did in the past, I am being more realistic and pragmatic in my approach. I know that small daily gains add up to massive wins in the end. So I am not going to sprint to the start line and flake out after a few steps. Instead I am going to pace myself and make those tiny little changes that get me moving in the right direction.
Momentum is a wonderful thing. That incredible force that just keeps you going, somehow requiring less effort but yielding bigger results. That’s the kind of energy I am aiming for this year. I’m looking for something sustainable that won’t wear me out. Something that will keep me motivated because I see small wins and I feel better for them.
This year I didn’t plan an unrealistic resolution to start on January 1st. Instead I am building on the good work I have already started and making adjustments to get the daily gains I need to show results. I’m a guy in his mid forties that likes good food and artisanal pastries. I’m not the steamed chicken and broccoli for every meal kind of guy. When I tried to be, I failed miserably because the all or nothing approach barely works, it’s simply unsustainable.
Every yo-yo diet or extreme eating plan worked for a time then died a quick death when I fell off the wagon and emotionally indulged. Every exercise plan was quickly forgotten as tiredness took over my body and watching TV was way more appealing.
I am no longer interested in extremes. They have never helped me in the past and I don’t believe they will ever help me in the future. Extremes are really polarising and they either make me extremely happy or extremely unhappy. That type of bipolar lifestyle is not something I enjoy. It’s something that wipes me out. I want to feel healthy and strong everyday. An even keel that gives me the juice I need to keep going.
For the most part my diet is rather healthy. I do my best to eat wholesome foods for every meal and give my body the nourishment it needs. I don’t eat junk food. Not because I am a snob, purist or a judgmental bigot. I just don’t like the way it makes my body feel. I get that it is cheap, fast and convenient but that is not enough for me. It simply doesn’t serve me. One of my big problems is my addiction to sugar. No, not the obvious ones like soft drinks or extremely processed foods. It’s the subtle things like chocolate, artisanal pastries and the seemingly healthier versions like honey, dates and fruit. Sugar and I have had some really bad breakups in the past. I vow to never return to her seductions but sooner or later somehow find myself embraced by her sweet temptation. There have been times where I gave up sugar completely and I was probably better (and thinner) for it. Sugar seems to always win out in the end.
I think it’s time for a different ending. I don’t want sugar to win and my health to lose. I also know that an all or nothing approach won’t get me very far for very long. So instead of complete abstinence, I am choosing considered moderation. I am trying to make the healthiest choices and if I know I’m going to be a little naughty, I’ll ramp up my steps for the day to mitigate the damage.
When it comes to fitness I am probably rather average. I don’t run marathons or spend hours in the gym every day. I don’t cycle 100km or swim 50 laps. I’m just not that guy. When I tried to be I failed. I didn’t enjoy the activity or the process.
The key for me was finding fitness activities that I do enjoy doing and building some momentum around those. I love playing basketball. Even though I am of average height and above average weight, the fun I have when shooting hoops is just effortless. Of course the next day my body says otherwise but the pain I feel the day after is not enough to keep me from getting beat up on the court twice a week. I played a little basketball when I was a teenager but the game wasn’t big where I grew up and finding places to play or clubs to join prices fruitless. Fast forward 25 years and I get invited to play in a casual weekly get together of old boys, mostly in their 40s and 50s. All of a sudden the hoop dreams I had as a kid resurfaced and I’m all out NBA superstar.
Needless to say, being an unfit overweight 41 year old who hadn’t played basketball in over 20 years, made my debut less than spectacular. The fact that I had eaten a sizeable curry for dinner didn’t help my cause either. I thought I was going to die that night as I sat on the bench questioning my life’s choices. Feeling the burn in my chest and wondering if someone would soon need to call an ambulance to take me away.
I was back the next week. I died a little less and made sure to postpone dinner till after. From that day onwards I have been a regular every week only skipping my fix due to injury, illness or holidays. That kind of momentum brought about a change in me. I started feeling more alive, feeling stronger and lost some excess weight. That incidental invitation to join a community of awesome and active men got me out of my comfort zone and into “the zone”. For that I am truly grateful.
The momentum continued and I was invited to join a team that played in a local men’s open division. Things started heating up and getting a little more serious. This was not the old boy basketball I had become accustomed to. Now I was playing against kids half my age and double my height. I’m not that easily intimidated and up for a challenge. The full body workout I get from two games of basketball a week has been life changing. Being a contact sport you do get bashed around a bit. I’m always rather sore the day after however our bodies are remarkable and bounce back quickly when we get stronger.
Turn setbacks into comebacks
Injuries when you’re older are no fun and take a lot longer to heal. I’ve had my fair share over the last few years. The most recent one was a very severe rolled ankle and set me back several months. For what felt like the longest time I couldn’t really do much. Being stuck in a moon boot with the and not able to go for walks had a serious effect on both my physical and mental health. As with most things in life, as bit of time and patience eventually brings healing. While I am still in rehab, I’m not letting it stop me. Incremental strengthening and stretching work I do every day means that I get that little bit stronger and more flexible. Being able to do long walks again has been a life saver.
My body has changed. In my 20s and 30s I healed from injury a lot quicker and didn’t need to do too much to see results. My 40s are a bit of a different story and I have to tread a little more carefully. When I’m playing sport my brain still thinks it’s that teenage kid with a flexible limbs and an unlimited amount of energy. My body however doesn’t get that memo and lags behind. The trick is to find a way to harness some of that “I think I can” belief and get it to work in a realistic way. I’ve certainly had to become a little wiser in my choices on the court to avoid injury. My natural game is to bust down the lane and drive to the basket but this often gets me hurt. I have had learn new skills and start shooting long range shots. I am forced to think a little more creatively and get myself into better positions on the court. These things have made me a better player and have literally been a game changer.
There is a lesson here. In the same way that I’ve needed to adapt the way I play basketball in mid-life, so I may need to adapt in other areas. Life is notoriously known for throwing curve balls. Sometimes you dodge them, sometimes they hit you on the head and knock you out cold. However, when you get smart enough, you learn to hit those suckers out of the park. Setbacks happen but they are only temporary unless you allow them to become permanent. You have the power to decide what your future holds.
How to keep momentum in the face of setbacks
Keeping momentum is the key. So what’s the plan to keep things humming a long when life gets interesting?
Have a plan
Having a plan is essential. It doesn’t have to be highly detailed and completely rigid but it needs to be accurate. Don’t plan for your perfect day, plan for your worst day. Perfect days are few and most likely take care of themselves. Bad days however need a plan to ensure you don’t get completely derailed. Think about what you may need to do if things go pear shaped. How will you need to adapt, what will you do to cope and who can you call on for help? Having a plan gives you peace of mind. It kind of feels like having your affairs in order for that just in case scenario.
Build a system
Now that you have a plan you need a system to support it. The key to building a good system is the lean concept of flow. In lean methodology the basics are: remove waste, remove obstacles and remove obscurity. If you’re doing something that’s wasting your time and energy, get rid of it. If you’ve got physical or digital clutter laying around, tidy it up, pack it up or chuck it away. If things seem unclear, take some time to think about how to make them more clear in their simplest form. When it comes to creating effective systems: simple is good, complex is bad. Remember that.
Develop habits
Once your system is in place you need to think about the habits you need to build to support that system. Break down each step into the smallest possible element and figure out what those little things are that will help you become the person you want to be.
Cue James Clear’s Atomic Habits. Many have different opinions on this book but my opinion is that it’s pure gold. So many practical nuggets to help you build effective habits. It has helped me tremendously.
Bounce back
Realise that setbacks will happen. We don’t want them to. We want smooth sailing and continual sun on our face, but that’s not how life goes. When things go awry look back on your plan, rely on your system and click back into the hood habits you’ve formed. Do this as quickly as possible to maintain momentum. Leave it too long and it will be harder to get going again. Developing resilience is a skill. Learning how to do this will help you for the rest of your life. I’m no expert but I’m learning and improving every day.
Focus on improvements not outcomes
The key is to focus in those daily improvements, not the end goal. If we’re only focusing on the destination, we miss out on so much of the journey. The journey is where memories are made, where stories unfold and where you are awakened. Enjoy the journey. Find ways to make improvements fun and rewarding. By doing this you may just discover the destination you had in mind at the start is nothing compared to the awesome place you arrive at.
Know when to change direction
Keeping on keeping on is great but not if you’re heading in the wrong direction. Your gut will most likely tell you when it’s time for a shift and when that happens don’t just stop everything to a grinding halt. Try and steer your momentum into the new direction. It’s a lot easier to change course when you’re still moving by slowing down a little, than it is to be completely stationary.
What’s the go for the new year?
This year I am going to build on about all of the progress I have already made. Instead of starting from scratch with a hope and a dream, I am forging ahead with a momentum fueled systemised plan. I have no way of knowing how things will pan out but if I keep doing the right things the chance of things working out is likely.
How are you planning on tackling the new year?
