Who doesn’t like comfort?
Like most people, I too gravitate toward comfort and enjoy lounging in a Goldilocks orbit for as long as possible. It feels effortless when you’re comfortable and it’s easy to stay there for a long time.
You know what it’s like… you sleep in that extra hour, you laze around on weekends, you binge-watch television or buy takeouts too often because it’s just too easy. You move in a perfect triangle from bed to couch to fridge in all of your slothful grace.
The motivation to change anything remains low as you drift from one comfy spot to the next. There are no challenges here. No difficult things to face. Nothing to get you moving along rather everything to get you to stay. In this seemingly safe space lurks a very present danger.
Comfort is dangerous
When life feels good why would you change it? Comfort in itself is not the problem, staying in that comfort for a prolonged period is.
Your current psychological comfort zone was probably reached by doing something that was initially uncomfortable, something you conquered. Over time it became familiar, less stressful, stable and even enjoyable.
We get to these steady states when we’ve performed well but then things reach equilibrium and think we’re all set. We don’t see the downward spiral that soon follows because we have been resting on our laurels. Essentially stagnating.
It’s because we don’t realise it. That is what makes it so dangerous. It’s the mildew thickening in the darkness, the fungus growing in the shadows. One day you’re a sparkling new sixpence and the next you’re overgrown by a foreign body. It starts slowly but the decline accelerates rapidly.
Consider this Japanese proverb:
“If you get on the wrong train, get off at the next station. The longer you stay on the train, the more expensive the return trip will be.”
Realisation is the key to breaking the cycle. Then comes quick and decisive action.
Comfort is a waste of time
Being comfortable for too long steals from you. It takes away precious time without you ever realising it. Like a perfect little pickpocket, you feel nothing but one day you realise something precious has been taken and there is no way to get it back.
For the lucky ones the realisation comes quickly but for most of us it comes far too late as we stare down an empty barrel of lost opportunities and broken dreams.
Regret permeates your veins like a bad opioid that sends you on a trip to would’ve-could’ve-should’ve land. You see ghosts of opportunities past, apparitions of the life you could have lived. This eerie place is blood-curdling and stomach-churning. It leaves you bewildered and dry-mouthed.
For me, this was especially true with wasteful weekends. Lounging around in my PJs sipping coffee and munching on cookies until after noon. Not accomplishing much under the guise of ‘relaxation’. The result was that I became more lazy, wasted precious time and packed on extra weight. I now wake up earlier on weekends, have a coffee with my wife while cuddling our fur babies and soon after we’re out the door for a morning walk. By getting up and getting out, the whole day gets set in motion. That momentum helps me to balance out relaxing, exercise, chores and doing something fun. It feels like I have more time simply because I’m not wasting it being continually comfortable.
“I was waiting for something extraordinary to happen but as the years wasted on nothing ever did unless I caused it.”
Charles Bukowski
Discomfort is different from pain
Often people think that they need to punish themselves into submission, like the radicalised monk in the Di Vinci Code who whips himself until all that is left of his back is minced meat. This kind of extreme thinking keeps people securely in their comfort zone, for good reason. I mean, let’s face it, none of us enjoy pain and we likely avoid it at all costs.
There is however a big difference between the two. Pain is often hard to bear and usually wipes you out good and solid. Discomfort on the other hand is something you can push through and has a benefit attached to it, leaving you energised.
An example of this came as a realisation from a recent sports injury. I seriously hurt my ankle and the rehabilitation process has taken a lot longer than I had hoped. Day in and day out I would religiously do the stretches my physiotherapist instructed me to do and it left me wondering if the feeling in my ankle was pain or discomfort. Pain would have stopped me completely but discomfort allowed me to push through the ‘pain’ and ultimately gain more mobility and strength.
Had I not pushed through my recovery would have been slower, or worse, I may not have recovered fully. When you avoid difficult things they usually come back to bite you in the backside eventually.
Push through the discomfort. You’ll be thankful you did.
Escaping the twilight zone of eternal comfort
When nothing is motivating you to make a change, why would you?
Changes most often come when they are forced upon you in a choice-less fashion, you’re left with no option but to make a move. The problem is that too much time can pass between these forceful shifts and too many things are dying while you’re in stasis. Nature clearly shows us that when things become stagnant they die or become disease-ridden.
You must find a way to escape comfort’s cage and gain momentum. It doesn’t have to be a drastic move. A series of small continuous changes is far better. Massive changes are like ripping the rug from underneath you and finding yourself on the bones of your bum. Smaller changes, while uncomfortable, don’t hurt as much.
We’ve heard about atomic habits from James Clear ad nauseam, love it or hate it, there is gold there. James’s simple concepts and strategies are true nuggets to help you get unstuck sustainably. Concepts like habit stacking and making habits easy to stick with are keys to unlocking the prison door of eternal comfort and doing something more purposeful with your life.
It’s time to turn your comfort zone into a growth zone.
When you change your thinking from seeking comfort to a growth mindset you’ll start reaping the rewards. Remember, you don’t need wholesale changes or to push yourself to breaking point. You only need incremental shifts in your thoughts and actions.
These small movements in the right direction will get you far, especially once you gain traction. Once you start seeing progress you will begin to feel more motivated, which in turn creates more momentum and that momentum is what helps you to stay motivated.
Once momentum is on your side, you’ll be like that boulder that flattens Wile E. Coyote after he rolls it up the hill to drop on the Road Runner.
Beep, beep! Ain’t nothing gonna stop ya!
